Ever Near

It's a little over the top. A little bombastic. But such is the nature of the beast.

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"Ever Near"

One can not share

the penultimate love

without grappling with

the paralyzing fear

of its loss,

ever near.

its greatness alone

defines the outline of my singular terror..

dark shadows endarkened

 by the prospects

of the light's

fleeting nature

its spectre

filling the deepest caverns of my soul

in an vacuous instant with despair.

boundless, animal cries of confusion,

anger.

loss.

ever near.

ever present

crippling my rational thought

dismantling my walls after all these years

undoing psyche 

and choking out of hope's air 

with a suffocating burdeon

that seems unfair.

I collapse, broken.

spent.

lost. 

utter destruction..   

from our bliss...

...so grateful to have ever known it.

like two motes of dust drifting lazily in sun's caress,

cascading through cracks in blinds

monday afternoon 

eachothers familiar kiss.

 we drift together...

and, we drift apart..

apart, we drift together.

floating, cicling,

spiraling

dancing

to the hidden currents

unseen patterns.

apart yet so together,

each of us a part of the other.

intrinsic things

necessary unto eachother

lacking meaning out of context 

like arteries and veins are to the blood

which, pumping restlessly

trembling at the touch

quivering at the promise

rich with lust and a terror and a hope and a wish...

a boundlessless 

which arose from within 

and then

a touroidal fountain of joy and triumph

brighter and with more gravity 

than a thousand million suns 

at the precise moment 

of super nova.

our time approaches again,

my love.

my dear, sweet love.

ever near.

as i lay drifing last night,

sleep eluding me

thoughts ruminate

i reached out,

through the ether

the part of my being which is pure light

illuminated,

emboldened

i reached out through the ether..

that part of you that fears

a second glance

 i glimpsed you in my peripheral 

awareness

a pattern i could not simply pass.

There I found you,

as a child

huddled, fearful

blind. in denial.

angry. wounded,

broken.

sore.

You snap at the darkness,

fearful that the thorne be plucked from your paw

wishing to be discarded and replaced instead,

but I could not leave you

there for dead.

I would not go.

I would not leave.

I found you there, beneith the leaves, 

and though wilting,

tender new growth then appeared ..

When I held your hand, 

and instead, 

you discarded your fears.

Our higher selfs, 

our astral forms 

met in the nameless faceless void,

despite the darkness

that quiet darkness

in spite of that drowning, raging darkness

threatening to swallow us whole

I held your hand 

and even though 

I knew not which way to go..

and we struggled as we always have

struggled under the weight of such enormous greatness

from that damp, furious darkness

together alone.

As we emerged from this nightmare,

your blossomed self

found my eyes and could not see passed doubts.

Alight.

Just as I always saw you.

Just as we always knew.

The sparkle of realized dreams

come true

a glorious hope's dawn 

Held together by more force

than all of our combined galactic cores.

And again,

as past,

we drifted there, 

as the last two motes of dust in all of creation's night,

drifting in the final beam of a thousand million nova's light.

triumphantly swaying to the hidden currents,

as if the universe had purposed such burdeons,

as if it had planned this all along,

as if the sun done it all - -

existence, history, cavemen and mozart and civilizations rise and fall..

For this.

Our time has come again,

my dear,
my love,

my dear sweet love..

It is here.